Hallelujah
by FairyTalesAndCastles
Summary: What if you had failed a promise? If you were given a second chance, would you put it right? Lexi promised John she would look after his boys but after a tricky hunt of her own she lost track of them. Tag to 3 days before Lazarus Rising. T for language.
1. Three Little Words

1. Three Little Words.

You know that feeling you get when you're asleep but you know full well you're really not? Well it was happening to me, only I was pretty sure I'd drank so much to keep me out for at least 10 hours. But here I was, standing in yet another dark and cold motel room, threatening this pretty yet scruffy looking tax accountant who claimed to be an angel standing in front of me. Maybe I am dreaming?

"Angels don't exist…" I stated again, balling my fist. This guy was making me angry.  
"This is your problem, Alexcia. You have no faith." he looked over me, expressionless. Blinking every few seconds as if out of habit, his long thick eyelashes brushing his cheeks.

"Faith? You're preaching to the wrong choir buddy. I lost my faith long ago…" I moved slightly to the right as I spoke. If I could get close enough to the bed, I would be able to reach the knife stashed under my pillow.

"I know…" the 'angels' face saddened and his gazed dropped to the floor. This was my chance.  
I moved quickly, knowing that this guy, angel or demon, would put up a good fight. Wrapping my fingers around the butt of my knife I managed to flip it up into the palm of my hand. I swung my body round and drove the silver blade deep into his chest. Nothing happened. No electricity, no black smoke, nothing. The expression on his face hadn't changed, he still looked sad. His big deep blue eyes were innocent, almost sorrowful. Something definitly wasn't right.

"Who are you?" I stumbled back into the bedside drawers, knocking a glass of water to the floor, my long brown waves falling over my shoulders.

"Castiel." he answered me plainly.  
"Alright, what do you want?"  
"I need you to believe me when I tell you what I am. Until then, you cannot help me."  
"You don't look like any angel I've ever seen…" my tone was sharp.  
"Were you expecting white fluffy wings and a harp?" I laughed a little. Not sure if I was supposed to though, was that him making a joke?

"Well…yeah, that's the way you guys looked when I was growing up."  
"No. Those are just stories to keep the young ones happy. To help them to believe in the Lord. Really we are warriors, providing protection and assistance for those who need it…" my brown eyes narrowed and I folded my arms across my chest "…until their time comes of course." he finished. Sounding to me like his was covering his own back.

I pushed myself up off the drawers and stood toe to toe with the trench coat clad angel  
"Then answer me this, 'angel'." I spat the word out, "If you provide protection for those needing it, then where the hell were you when my parents were killed? When they were slaughtered and sacrificed in their own home…and my brother…"

"Like I said, until their time comes." He interrupted. Good job too, I don't think I could handle thinking about my brother and what could have happened to him. What still could be happening

"Right, until their time comes. Bull." I moved around him, turning back just in time to see him pull the knife out. "And now you want my help, why should I? What exactly have you or 'God' done for me?"

"You weren't home." his eyes met mine again, I had to look away. He was right. As much as I'd like to think that me being home that night would have made a difference to the outcome, deep inside I knew it wouldn't have. Sure I knew the basics in hunting, I was a natural fighter but I didn't know anything compared to what I know now. With the experience came the realisation that I would have been killed too.

"There is a man who you once swore you would do anything for, you will not just be helping us, but helping him too." Castiel moved closer to me and held out my knife in his hand. "John Winchester." My hand froze in the air. For the second time in a few minutes this angel had knocked me for six.

"John Winchester is dead." I bit back.  
"Yes, but that doesn't mean that he can't call in a favor." the faintest smirk crept across his lips. "We need your help Alexcia, please." the smirk disappeared and his eyes were sorrowful again.

"What's happened?" my voice betrayed me. I didn't want to sound worried but I couldn't hide it. I promised one thing to John before he died and that was to look over his boys. To step in when they needed help but they had been taught by the best, they dropped off the map a couple of times and those were the most significant. The last time I found them again, Dean had gotten himself into a one way deal. A deal I was so desperately trying to find a way to break.

"Dean is dead." I fell to my knees, silent tears already staining my face. With those three little words my world crashed down with me.


	2. When You're Gone

**Proclaimer (x2 'cause I forgot it in the first part...)**

**Much to my disappointment I do not own Sam and Dean Winchester, or Castiel. If I did...well I'll just leave it at that. I do however own Alexcia 'Lexi' Jacobs.**

**This is the first fanfiction I have written in awhile, and it'd be a great help if you guys let me know what you think and/or any suggestions you may have.**

**Enjoy :)  
**

2. When you're Gone.

Watching my knuckles turning white I thought about letting go of the steering wheel I currently had in a death grip. I decided against it. The straining pain in my hand was taking my mind off of the numbing feeling that had been threatening to take over my whole body. It had already claimed my heart. It stopped beating as soon as I knew Dean's had.

If this is what my life without Dean was going to be like, I didn't want it. Death would be better than this. I had run out of tears, bringing only a stinging sensation when I knew they should be falling. Everywhere I looked, something reminded me of him. Even the songs on the radio, most of them bringing back memories of us laughing together, drunk or driving in the car. Hunting wasn't even an option, how could I possibly carry on fighting without him by my side?

"I know that you are, as you say, hurting, but you need to do this Alexcia." My angel, Castiel, spoke softly next to me.

"Lexi…" I corrected plainly.  
"Excuse me?"  
"My name is Lexi. The last time someone used my full name was my dad, and that was right before I slammed door in his face." My gripped tightened.

"Oh." he fell silent again and I was thankful for it.  
I believed him now. There was no doubt left in my mind that he wasn't what he said he was. He had shown me things, spoke in certain ways and was totally devoid of human emotion and interaction that even a demon couldn't be as dumb as he was at times. He certainly was an angel.

"Al…Lexi. Please, let's just get out of the car. You need to do this. I know Dean was important to you but you are no good to me in this state. You aren't eating, you haven't spoken to his brother or even Robert Singer and you've hardly slept since I told you what had happened. I'm starting to worry. You're weakening." he was twisting at his hands; I knew he was trying to decide what a friend would do for someone who was grieving, or in my case - refusing to grieve.

"That's the plan. Dean wasn't important to me, he was_ everything_ to me. Without him, there's nothing left. No reason to fight, no reason to carry on." my words were harsh but true. Without Dean in my life, however little, it was completely empty. The Winchester's became my family after I lost my own; John my father, Sam my brother and Dean…well he became so much more. We shared something that not many people find in their lifetime, even if it was unspoken. We knew it was there and that was all that mattered.

"Sam hasn't called…" I was talking to myself, out loud. First sign of madness. That hurt more than I thought it would. At one time Sam told me anything and everything, so how could he not even tell me that something like this had happened. Did he not want me to know, was he protecting me from it? Either way it angered me, I'd saved that kids life a dozen times over - he owed me this at least.

I turned my head to look out the window, tried to look past the trees to see if I could catch a glimpse of the place that would surely end me. Dean Winchester's grave.

"Why did they choose to bury him?" I wondered to myself, out loud again, only this time I was given an answer.  
"I'm not sure. Something to do with Sam thinking he can find a way to bring him back." Castiel sighed. Clearly he was getting annoyed with me stalling.

"Sam is smarter than that. He knows as well as I do that if he was to bring him back, he wouldn't be the same. Even if he tried making a trade, his soul for Dean's, no demon would deal." Dean had been wanted far too long, by too many demons for him to be given another chance. "Besides, even if Sam did try to bring him back that way, it wouldn't work. There's no getting him out of the place where he is now. Nobody gets out of…" the name was stuck in my throat, silently choking and burning me with the fire that came with it. Castiel stayed quiet this time, which I found unnerving. In the 3 days I have known him, he's hardly shut up. Probably making up for the fact that I haven't spoken a coherent word since that first night.

I drew in a deep breath, preparing myself for whatever was about to happen. I really didn't want to climb out of my Mustang, I'd been staring at the glare of the sun that had stretched across the black paint on the hood for too long that if I looked away it'd be all I could see. I closed my eyes - I was right. All I could see were sun spots. They blinded me.

I pushed open the door with as much strength as I could gather and dragged myself out. All thoughts had escaped me; I was working on auto-pilot. Not actually wanting to have to do what I was about to. Cas opened his door and got out, I knew that much but everything else started to blur. I could see those sun spots again.


	3. Here Without You

**Proclaimer.  
**

**Much to my disappointment I do not own Sam and Dean Winchester, or Castiel. If I did...well I'll just leave it at that. I do however own Alexcia 'Lexi' Jacobs.**

**This is the first fanfiction I have written in awhile, and it'd be a great help if you guys let me know what you think and/or any suggestions you may have.**

**Enjoy :)**

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Castiel slowed behind me as we neared the grave site. Two thick sticks bound together with a leather cord in the shape of a cross, marking Dean's final resting place. Back at the car I didn't want to move, I didn't want to be anywhere near this but now with it in plain sight I wanted to run to it. I gave in, my feet started moving faster, a slow jog at first but my emotions were starting to get the better of me, started to take over and all that mattered was getting to Dean. I broke into a sprint.

Skidding to a stop I lowered myself to the ground and slid along side of the top soil. I stayed where I was, half on my knees hunched against the ground. It seemed strange that I could feel him through the soil; there was no doubt that 6ft down Dean's body lay limp and lifeless.  
"What is the date?" I heard Castiel ask, but I wasn't in the mood to answer. "Lexi, the date, what is it?!"  
"September 15th…" my voice was weak, a dead give away on the state of the rest of my body. Only now did I realise that the blue eyed angel was right, I had gotten weaker. The short run from the edge of the trees to the spot where I lay had taken it clean out of me.  
"I'll leave you to umm…say a few words, and then we need to talk. There is something we need to take care of." I listened to his soft steps on the grass, the delicate sound of the blades splitting beneath his shoes.

After he was out of sight I had no distractions, nothing left to keep me from breaking beyond repair. I pulled my fingers slowly against the bits of soil that hadn't been covered by the grass that had crept across the grave. Feeling the grains roll under my skin, the slight damp causing some to stick, gave me a strange sense of calm but things were far from it. I was breaking, I could feel it. It wasn't pain, like being pulled apart but like I was just falling to pieces and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I felt helpless. And Dean, well hell isn't considered the most chilled out place now is it? Even Cas, he was here, on earth, after 2000 years of being…wherever. He was here, I'm not entirely sure why yet but something had him spooked. (Yes, I believed that he was an angel, but I'm having the slightest bit of trouble believing in heaven and most of all God.)

My eyes started to glaze over, had I been saving these last few tears for this, for it to finally be real? I dragged my arms into my body, rolled up onto my knees and let the top half of my body go limp, only the uncontrollable sobs breaking from my lips and shaking through my shoulders animated my body. I had never cried like this before, allowing the emotions to take over and let them run riot through me was a totally new experience. Even when my parents were killed, never was it like this. Does that mean I loved Dean more than I did my own folks, or maybe it's because it was a different kind of love? Like, I had to love them because they were my parents; 'forced' is too harsh a word. I did indeed love them, but it was a given that I would, whereas with Dean - I fell for the guy, and I fell hard. I had no choice in the matter.

"Why didn't you find me, ask me for my help?" my own voice startled me, I wasn't expecting to actually say anything, just thought I'd sit there and cry, then suck it up and figure out a way to end it all without Castiel finding out. "What were you thinking, a deal to save Sam? And don't say to me "It's what Dad would have wanted." because no it isn't! John gave up his life to save you, so you could keep fighting, so that you could kill yellow eyes - and you did! I know that loosing Sam was hell for you, but…" I cut myself short, realising for the first time what had happened back in that abandoned house where Sam's body lay a year ago and I found a strength inside me that had been absent over the last few days.

"You know, you're just a selfish bastard…you were only thinking of yourself. How you couldn't deal with your dead brother. How you couldn't face going on alone…" my strong voice stated to break, "Did you think about me…when you made the damn deal, DID YOU THINK ABOUT ME?!." I started to sob again, but the words kept coming. "Did you even have a passing thought about how_ I_ would deal with you dying, how_ I_ wouldn't be able to carry on here without you? What am I supposed to do huh? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!" I knew I was being selfish, that it was wrong to be, but I couldn't help it. Without Dean, I was nothing.


	4. She Talks to Angel's

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except Lexi.**

**Enjoy. Reviews make me uber happy!!**

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4. She Talks to Angel's.

The last thing I was aware of was the warmth radiating from Castiel's hand as he smoothed the hair from my face. He had carried me to the car, not only physically but emotionally. Seeing Dean's grave was the final nail in my metaphorical coffin, and with that last blow, I was shattered into a million little pieces. I've fallen before, been hurt to the point where I couldn't take it, but I have always fought back, I have always stood up and dusted myself off at the end of it all. There was no coming back from this, no fighting, no standing and no dusting off my jeans and walking away. After I had said my piece I couldn't move, I couldn't leave him down in the dirt, cold and alone. My arms seized up, my legs felt like lead weights planting me into the grass where I lay, just as lifeless as Dean.

I refused to think of him as a corpse, an empty vessel just waiting to be devoured by the unforgiving earth that he had fought so very hard to protect. He was still Dean. Dirty blond hair ruffled on his head, his full lips pouting the way they did when he was sleeping and under closed lids, his emerald eyes lay sparkling. He was still_ my Dean._

Waking up felt strange, I kept my eyes closed and carried on as if I was still out of it - I wasn't in the car, nor was I alone.

"I know you are awake."

"What, you Santa Clause now?" I grunted, surprised that I still had some ounce of smart ass left in me.

"No, your breathing sped up. It was rhythmic while you were sleeping, I found myself listening, knowing you were at peace calmed the worries I had." he slouched down just a little, he looked comfortable and teamed with the remote control in his hand, flicking mundanely through the channels, it was the most human I had ever seen him looking.

"Nevermind…" I didn't want to get into a conversation about breathing rhythms, to be honest - I didn't want to get into a conversation at all.

I reluctantly dragged myself up from the pillow. It was soft, warm and comforting, but also short lived, I could already feel the beginnings of a 'to do' list coming from the angel. Propping myself up on my elbow I dragged my long bangs back over my head and sighed. I had no energy left, I was running on empty. Usually if this was my car in this condition, I'd pull into the next gas station and fill her up, but with the way I was feeling - I doubt I could stomach anything. I looked past Castiel's fluffy brown hair and onto the nightstand where I expected to see the photo I'd woken up to every morning for the last 2 years. A simple photograph of myself and Dean that Sam had taken, outside of a random back road bar in Iowa. We looked happy, content in each others arms and by looking at that photo alone, anyone could tell we were madly in love. I sat up, slightly confused when I couldn't see it anywhere. Looking around the motel room, I realised nothing was where I remembered it being, even the wallpaper had changed. Different motel room, had he forgotten which room was mine?

"Where are we?" I asked, knowing this would be the opening he was waiting for.

"Wyoming." he answered plainly, never breaking from the TV.

"I aint even gunna ask…" I answered as I swung my legs over the side of the bed.

"The Devils Gate is here." With that he shut off the TV set and moved from the bed.

"The Devils Gate, what are we going there for?" I turned to face him; he looked as serious as ever.

"To enter hell." My hand that was reaching for my cell phone froze.

"What?" Did he seriously just say what I think he said? He was sending me on a suicide mission.

"I asked you how far you would go to get Dean back and you said as far as you have to, this is how far we need to go." he turned to look out of the motel window, he watched one of the cars pull out of the lot. He'd never done that before, turned away mid sentence.

"Why do I have the feeling there's something more to this, like there's something you're not telling me?"

"I've been given orders not to tell you, to wait until we are down there but it isn't fair, you should be warned about what is going to happen." he was talking to my reflection and I could see the frustration twisting his angelic features. Part of me didn't want to know, not if it was going to get him in trouble with 'The Powers That Be', but I couldn't help still being curious. It was the word 'warn' that had me thinking, and what he meant by it.

"Cas, you don't..."

"I know I don't have to tell you and I know you wouldn't push me to but if I don't then it could catch you off guard and scare you, and that's something we certainly don't need."

"Then tell me."

"Before I do let me ask you again, only more specifically this time. How far are you willing to push yourself, what are you willing to do, to sacrifice to get Dean back?"

"Anything." the answer was automatic, rolled off my tongue with minimal effort.

"You need to get your soul back, your true soul." Even from the lips of an angel those words sent a wave of terror through me. The muscles in my arms tensed, pulling my fingers into a tight grip, so tight my rough nails threatened to break the skin of my palm. My stomach knotted and contracted, for a second I thought I was going to throw up, luckily - I didn't.

Anger charged through me and I was shouting again, "No...NO! There's no way, how can you even ASK me to do that?!" they weren't his orders. Again, he didn't deserve the abuse I was throwing his way. Castiel didn't flinch, only his head bowed and he ran his eyes over the cracks in the old wooden floor boards.

"I understand why you might feel this way, but please Lexi, it's the only way. I asked you what you were willing to do and you said anything,_ this_ is what I need you to do. It's the only way we can get him back."

"But why? How can it be? Can't we just charge in there and drag him out?" I felt something warm splinter over my palm. I had broken the skin, time to let my fingers fall free.

"That is what we are going to do. My power alone is not enough, if it was, I wouldn't even be here right now." He had a point. Score one - Angel.

"I can't. You may understand why I am feeling the way I am about this, but you sure as hell don't understand the way I felt with that_ thing_ inside of me!"

"That_ thing_ is your spirit. You were blessed the night you were born with it and it grew with you. Grew to understand you, your feelings and responses. It was a part of you, a_ natural_ part of you." he stepped closer to me, his eyes fixed on mine.

"That thing wasn't natural…" I spat back at him. "The feelings I felt, the abilities I had - they weren't normal, they weren't human." I let my eyes close as I revisited the way I was, my jaw tightened as old emotions drenched me. "Yeah, the added strength and speed, they helped out during hunts but…the searing pain, the anger and the unstoppable rage that suffocated me every single day while I fought against it. I couldn't take it anymore..."

"Why didn't you just except what you were, what you were destined to become?" I felt Castiel's hand on my face; I opened my dark brown eyes and found his looking back at me, his head cocked slightly to the side. His blue eyes were searching for something deep within my own; he really was trying to understand my reasons for not wanting this, to justify my selfishness.

"Because…" my brow knitted together, I found it hard to find the right words, "…If I gave in, if I let the beast take over…I…I didn't want to become something that I would hunt. That_ Dean_, would hunt."

"Lexi, you don't understand. If things hadn't have happened the way they did, your mother would have explained this to you." My angel's hand dropped away, only to my shoulder and that's where it stayed. I convinced myself that he was just trying to be a friend when really he was keeping within close enough distance so he could catch me if I fall. Again. "Like I said, you were blessed on the night you were born. You were born under the wolf moon."

"I know the story of my ancestors Cas." my tone was flat, bored and disinterested. I had grown up with the story being told to me almost every night, if not by my Mom, then by my gramps. They said that members of our family were chosen to be warriors; defenders of mankind and that they were protected by the spirits of our ancestors. Blessed with their wisdom, bound by their loyalty and given their strength. Our ancestors were said to be descendants from wolves. Everything up to that point was believable.

"Yes, but you did not believe it - until it started happening to you. You panicked, but if you were given the right guidance, you wouldn't have. The spirit came to you because you were chosen; it was your destiny Alexcia. It still is. Why would I be trying to convince you otherwise? What was inside of you was pure; it wasn't venom running through your veins, a virus like that of the half breeds that only change when the moon is full." Score two - Angel. Castiel was right, if this 'blessing' was more of a curse like I thought it was, then why would an angel talk it up the way that he was. I'm not saying I didn't have my doubts, because I did, he just made it seem not all that bad.

Sighing, I knew I was signing my life away but Castiel's words made sense, and who was I to take away Dean's last chance of getting out of the pit. "I..."

"It's the only way to save Dean from eternal damnation…"

"If you would let me get my words out, I was going to say…" another sigh broke free, "I said I would go as far as I had to and do anything to get him back."

"So what are you saying?" He looked confused, he made me laugh sometimes. He had picked little things up over the few days he had been by my side. Little mannerisms, the shortening of words, even some slang, but every now and then I'd say or do something that would throw him off.

"I'm saying that you have my word. I want Dean back home." A content smile broke across Cas' lips. That was the first time I had ever seen him smile.


	5. The Calm Before the Storm

**Proclaimer: I own nothing, everything except Lexi, are products of Kripke's amazingly warped imagination.**

**Yes, there has been a title change - I think Hallelujah fits more. Remember, reviews make me happy :)**

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"You're nervous."

"I'm about to walk into hell, of course I'm nervous. I mean, who does that?"

"You've done it before" Castiel answered me.

"That was different. I knew what I was doing." We had stopped at the entrance to the cemetery, the engine in my mustang purring away softly in the background. From where we were I could see Samuel Colt's tomb - The Devils Gate.

Year's ago Samuel Colt built this to protect the gates, under the ground lay train tracks made of solid iron that had been arranged to form a giant devils trap, no demon could set foot near the place. To open the lock on the door, you needed a special key. Colt also made a gun, along with 13 'kill anything' bullets - that was the key and the last time I had heard of it, some British chick had sold it to the highest bidder.

"Do you have the key?" I turned to Castiel who was loosening the light blue tie that hung around his neck.

"What key?" he was still fidgeting with the tie. This was a man who could make coffee without having to move or put me to sleep with a click of his fingers (though he has only done that once and I was kinda asking for it). Yet something as simple as a tie caused him to scrunch up his face, pout like a 5 year old and huff about like a bitch.

"Here…" I swatted his hands away, "Let me do that before you hang the guy!" I pulled on the collar and dragged the knot away from him. "You only pull on one side…" I pulled again to show him, "See?"

"Thank you." He looked embarrassed, he shouldn't be though. It's not his fault he wasn't given any training prior to his 'Save Dean Winchester' mission.

"No problem. Now, the key, as in the Colt - By some miracle you have it right?"

"Since when do I need a key to get in anywhere?" he answered cockily.

"Smug doesn't suit you dude…" I shook my head with a smirk. "Alright, so we don't need a key. What's gunna happen once we're in there?"

"I'm not sure. We can walk through undetected so far. Lower rank demons surround the higher levels, run riot, there's no order to them. They will not approach me; most of them won't even know what I am…"

"What about me?"

"You'll be fine up until a point…"

"And what point is that?" I turned back to Cas, not liking the way he spoke.

"For a time you will be walking as you are now, without a soul, making you invisible to them. Once the wolf senses your presence, it will come to find you and the two of you will be joined again." He was talking with his hands, made him look Italian. I should stop him watching TV.

"But I was under the impression it would be locked away somewhere, in a cage, a jar or something?"

"She was caged up for a time and tortured. But the longer you were apart, the more restless and dangerous she became…the cage didn't last so long after that."

"She?" All these years, I never thought that the spirit would be male or female. Makes sense I guess. "Nevermind." I shook my head, dismissing the thought.

"I'm not sure what will happen once she is with you. I do know that you will then be visible, but they would be stupid to try anything." Cas finished on a rather triumphant tone.

"How do you mean?"

"You have no idea what it is capable of do you? What you will be capable of Lexi. I'm betting she's missed you." I didn't understand what Cas was saying, how could it have missed me? Just like I had never thought of its gender, I had never thought of it as a separate entity, something that had its own feelings. And she was tortured. That bothered me.

An eerie calm had settled upon the car. Inside we were silently preparing ourselves for what we were about to do. Both of us stared out the windows, listening to the wind blow outside and the bustle of leaves being carried in the breeze. This was the calm before the storm. Something bad was coming.

"I don't understand you." Had it been anyone else to speak out of the blue like that I would have jumped, but Cas' voice was always so controlled and cool that I didn't even flinch.

"That's nice to know. I thought we had gotten to know each other pretty well these last few days." I stuck out my bottom lip mocking him.

"I don't mean it like that…" he turned his thoughtful gaze onto me."Yes, I have gotten to know you. Pretty well actually. I know that you take your coffee black with three sugars, that you sharpen your knife when you're angry, you clean your shot gun when you need to think and that you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for." he nodded and smiled with his words. "But what I don't understand is how you managed to care about people, to laugh and to fall in love without a soul. That isn't possible."

"Umm…I don't know what to say. It just kinda…happened." I shrugged my heavy shoulders.

"Tell me how Lexi."

"I dunno, it just did. After my parents died the rage became unbearable and so I made the deal for my soul. To have it cast out of me. It was a win win situation; I would die as and when I was meant to, no 10 year limit because technically, hell already had my soul. I was left to wonder an aimless life and my soul was kept there."

"And how did you feel?" I didn't like that he was pressing, he never had before. Cas was pretty good at picking up on when I didn't want to share. But it was hard to say no to him.

"Empty. Cold, shuttered and dank. I was dead." I let my head fall down, ashamed of what I had done. The guilt starting to rise with the knowledge that the wolf had been tortured at my expense for years so much that she couldn't take it any longer and broke free.

"Then Dean came along…" he nudged me.

"Yes. When I met him, it was like I could breathe again. He warmed me. Dean had me laughing and joking, and soon enough he had me loving him with every part of myself. Mind, body and non-existent soul." I couldn't help but smile to myself; thinking of the way we used to be together always did that. "…but when you told me what had happened…the warmth dripped away and I was cold again. Dead."

"I truly am sorry Alexcia, for having to tell you the way I did. I'm sorry for having to tell you at all, but it wasn't like you would do what I am asking of you without any explanation." he moved a hand to my shoulder and squeezed reassuringly, causing a faint thoughtful smile to tug at my lips.

I had grown very fond of my angel, if it wasn't for him guiding me, I would have given up. Castiel had even started to develop some sort of personality, and little quirks as well. I had thought that maybe it was the man whose body he was using starting to leak through the longer they were together but Cas had confessed that he had been a little careless in battle and the man had moved onto higher planes to take his rightful place in the clouds…or something. Part of me hoped that he would hang around after we had done what we needed to, not constantly but close enough so he was within reach, just in case something went wrong.

"We should go. We only have 36 hours and 12 minutes to do this." Castiel spoke with an urgency that I had never heard from him before, it made me anxious.

"Why the time limit?" I asked as I pulled out the beautiful solid silver and ivory Colt .45 pistol that lived in the inside pocket of my leather jacket.

"On Thursday, September 18th, Dean would have been in hell for four months. That's 40 years hell time, I don't think he's going to last much longer. I am the angel of Thursday Lex, my powers are strongest then and believe me, we're going to need as much power as we can find. That's why I need you, with you by my side, we'll have him out in no time." he flashed a brilliant smile at me, I'm guessing to make me feel a little better and less afraid of what was about to happen to me. 'Cause I'm not going to lie, I was terrified. The thought of it, something that I despised for so long, was so desperate to get rid of that I made a deal with a higher level demon; was coming back to me and in some strange way, I was looking forward to it.

"You won't be needing that." Cas nodded towards me as I stuffed a magazine into the gun.

"Why not?" I became increasingly nervous again. My gun was really the only protection I had down there.

"The demons in hell are in their purest form - a bullet will not work." I stretched over into the back seat, reaching for an old knife that worked just as well, "...Nor that." my fingers recoiled from the blade and I sat back in my seat.

"Then what...what am I supposed to take for protection?" I held my hands out in front of me, as if I was waiting for some magical Gandalf the Wizard style staff to be handed over to me.

"You don't need anything. The wolf is ammunition enough."

"I'm not following..."

"Well, I'm not sure about the transformation, whether it will happen completely or not but the claws and fangs will show."

"Wh…" I couldn't even finish one word, I hadn't thought of the transformation and the possibility of growing a fur coat. The werewolves that I have encountered only had the claws, fangs if they were lucky. But they, as Castiel put it, were half breeds. Product of a virus that consumed their souls, and damned them for all eternity. I was starting to come around to the idea that my wolf was indeed a blessing, even with fur.

"Yes. I am certain you will have claws and fangs, also heightened senses and razor sharp reflexes, attacks will seem…premeditated. This should be a walk in the park, as long as you let her guide you. You have to trust her Lexi, she won't do you harm." the angel's voice calmed me as usual.

"Alright…" I pushed open the car door and stepped out. Feeling the wind in my hair and the rough ground underneath my boots, I bounced impatiently on my heels before bending down through the open window, "Well come on! Let's go drag his ass outta hell!"


	6. I Will Follow you into the Dark

**Proclaimer: I own nothing. Only Lexi. **

**_Lexi has arrived in hell and someone is waiting for her._**

**Yes, there's been a title change. Please review guys so I can see if you're liking this or not :)**

**We'll hold each other soon, in the blackest of rooms.****  
**

"What are you doing?" I raised my brow towards Castiel as I watched him pull off his trench coat and let it fall to the ground. This was the first time I had actually seen him without it on.

"Well it is a little hot down there." he stated matter of factly, "I suggest you do the same, but not for those reasons. I've brought some spare clothes of yours just in case…"

"In case I hulk out?" nodding towards him. It wasn't that big of a deal, I had excepted my fate to save Dean, growing fur was nothing but a minor detail.

My words confused him, he turned his head to the side as he spoke, "You aren't going to turn green Lexi…" a few hushed chuckles escaped from my smirk.

"Nevermind Cas." I shook my head as I pulled my jacket from my shoulders, "How much should I lose?"

"I think the jacket and shirt will be enough." he turned away from me and focused on the entrance of the tomb. With arms stretched out in front of him, the angel stepped forward and pressed his hands up against the cold stone. I felt the earth beneath my feet begin to tremble as he spoke in an ancient language, I let my eyes fall closed.

My face recoiled in disgust as the stench of sulphur flooded my nostrils, putting every effort into trying not to throw up and decided against opening my eyes just yet. By some miracle I'd forgotten how bad the smell really was down here after my last trip. I raised my bare arm to cover my nose and continued to walk forward out of the dark, cave like passage way.

"Where is he?" I choked towards Castiel, still trying to keep down the bit of microwave burrito that I had been forced to eat a few hours earlier.

"I'm not sure. We will know soon enough." he answered as he unbuttoned his white shirt. It was hotter than we were excepting, even I was starting to sweat and I was only in my white wife beater and jeans. "I know roughly where, but not specifics."

"Alright, then which way?" I moved my arm from my face, if I was going to hurl better to do it now while it was quiet. In truth it wasn't quiet at all, since we stepped through the gate, the blood curdling screams and moans of souls being tortured tore through the dead air around us. I had to fight every urge, every instinct I had developed over the years I'd been hunting to run off and help whoever was in pain. All of the people down here deserved everything that they were getting. All but one. I tried to listen to the screams, tried to pick out the one that didn't belong - but I couldn't. Not that there was too many but because I couldn't hear it. Dean wasn't screaming, what the hell did that mean? The images that crept into my mind terrified me, what if he_ couldn't_ scream. I was aware of the things that they could do down here and it wasn't beyond any demon to merely cut out a tongue or stitch someone's mouth shut tight to enhance their twisted pleasures. I had to find him.

I'm not sure what I was expecting when I thought about coming face to face with the demons that roamed the underworld, the last one I saw was dressed in a very smart meat suit, just like any other I had ever been so unfortunate to meet. But here, they didn't hide behind attractive or familiar faces, they had no reason to. They were here to strike terror into the dirty souls of the people whose stairways headed downwards and strip them of any hope they had left. To punish and bleed, and to show them what their punishment would ultimately cause them to become. Yes, every ugly, snarling and incomprehensibly evil being that dwells here amongst the shadows was once, human.

They were everywhere. Crawling up the walls, clinging to the stained bones that showed between the stone with their talon like claws. Their long, slimy tongues lapping at the rivers of blood that flowed down the walls if someone got a little too carried away with the Columbian neck ties. Castiel was right, they couldn't see me and I was glad of it, there was too many to take on. If one passed too close to then angel, they fled, unaware of what force was amongst them.

"Can you feel anything?" It was a strange feeling to have missed Castiel's voice, something that I only realised when his words touched my ears. It was a welcome change to the deafening screeching that surrounded us.

Before I answered I thought about his question. Was he asking if I could feel Dean? If he was, then the answer was no. Less than 2 days ago, lay on top of his grave, yes I could. I could feel his body beneath the earth, lonely and cold. Now, nothing. There was something though, a pulling sensation connected to something unknown, something strong and it wanted me. "Yes. It isn't Dean though."

Cas stopped walking, a glimmer of anticipation flashed across his harden face. "Run to it. Run as fast as you can and do not be afraid." I was about to argue, why was he sending me off alone? "Trust me Alexcia, trust in yourself and nothing can harm you. Let her guide you and I will follow soon after." I understood, as I nodded my head I swallowed whatever fear was left and broke into a sprint in the direction I was being pulled.

Running blurred everything into shades of red and black, made it more bearable. With every step the pull got stronger and harder. I could almost feel it wrapping around my body and oddly enough I liked it. I pushed my body harder, worked the muscles in my legs up to and past their limits, something that I hadn't done in a long time. Up ahead, past the demons and writhing bodies was a huge black shadow, and it was heading right for me.

Within seconds it was 3 feet in front of me and I could see its face - it was my wolf and she was beautiful. In such a majestic way she reared up onto her hind legs and pounced forward and straight for me. Like a ton of bricks she knocked me to the floor. Unable to protest I let her in, to where she belonged.


	7. The Animal I Have Become

**Proclaimer****: I own nothing. Only Lexi. Kripke is God. Reviews make me happy.  
**

**7. The Animal I Have Become.**

I lay still, watching the last of this huge beast entering my body through my chest. The heat from the ground kissed my skin, almost blistering it with its passion. My head was telling me to get up, away from the burning but I couldn't move - she was pinning me down. For a few seconds everything stopped; my thoughts, my breath and I could feel my heart rate slowing until that too, stopped dead. It all went blank. Had she killed me?

A searing pain ripped through my insides causing me to buck wildly and double over. I grunted as the worst of it seemed to pass only to have an all out attack rain over my body, and with it dragging an almighty bellow from the pit of my stomach. Feeling the power and strength running through my veins came second to the pain, pumping round into every part of me, right out to my fingertips. It racked my body, shaking me in uncontrollable convulsions but the pain kept me occupied enough to ignore it. I couldn't do anything but scream out, hiss and suck in as much dead air as I could, I was completely helpless. Realising that there was no way I would win the fight, I gave in and let the wolf invade every inch of my body, I didn't even have the energy to yell anymore.

My heart raced and my whole body trembled as I felt something gather inside. Everything drew inward. The unforgiving pain, the unmistakable power and the unbelievable strength, all moved together in unison to my core. It pulled me up, arching my back up off the floor; my limbs stiffened and froze in their mangled positions as if rigor mortis had claimed my corpse. As my mid-section reached the highest peak it could; a horrific, bloodcurdling howl tore through me and sounded from my own lips. It echoed around me, shook the ground and the stone walls, finally alerting every demon in hell of a presence that didn't belong. My back slammed down to the floor with such force that I could have sworn I heard the bones in my spine bend and break. My eyes widened as I choked on the howl, turning it into a low pain filled whine. I knew what was going to happen to me, and I had no way to stop it. The thing I fought against and feared would happen all those years ago, was, and had taken all of 30 seconds to devour me whole. The wolf was taking over and turning me into something I really didn't want to be. A bright light flashed in my eyes, and I felt the surge of energy explode, taking my human form with it.

Castiel was right, now I had my soul back I was visible. Demons had followed the howl that had sounded around the higher levels and it led them straight to me. The same 'me' that was now a little over 6ft tall with a broad back, covered in thick chocolate brown fur and on all fours. Yeah - full blown werewolf.

Hundreds came, all different shapes and sizes, but most fled. Leaving, having done nothing more than a sharp high pitched shriek that lingered behind them. One of them, the biggest of course, inched towards me. Automatically, my lips pulled back into a strong snarl, showing a set of enormous razor sharp teeth. The demon halted, a few more ran off, taking notice of the warning but this one plus two more stayed. I didn't know what to do. I had no weapons, even if I had I wouldn't know how the hell I supposed to use them, I had nothing to protect me. Right on que Castiel's voice swam through my mind_ "Let her guide you. Trust in her Lexi."_ and so I gave in to anger that had started burning inside.

If I didn't know any better, I would have said that the demon in front of me was smirking, but that didn't last long. My mind was my own, but this huge and powerful body wasn't. The wolf pounced, hind legs pushing hard against the ground, propelling my frame forward right into the chest of the creature. An ear-splitting screech broke from it as I knocked it down, it tried to move from underneath her but it was no use. She had it pinned, just like she had done to me. I felt a quick, sharp pain in the tips of the two giant paws and teamed with the second earspliter, I guessed that the claws were retractable and someone just got gripped. Now I was the one grinning, Cas was right again, I'd be safe with her. The demon tried to free itself one more time before my head bowed, it stopped grunting and moaning, like it knew what was coming yet I didn't and this was my own body…new body…that had a mind of its own.

She snapped my head back and threw it back down, sinking the teeth deep into the demons neck. Ice cold blood leaked into my mouth, assaulting my tongue with its metallically bitter taste. It tried to scream, resulting in a gargled groan as more of its own blood flooded its throat. I watched in utter amazement as the life drained from the thing in front of my eyes, listened as its moans silenced and it gave up trying to move. I watched the demon die.

Once she was satisfied that the threat no longer was one she moved away, stepping down back onto the ground. She pushed my last breath out hard through my snout and another growl started to rumble at the bottom of my throat. The two remaining demons were reduced to kittens as they ran away with their tails between their scabby legs.

She sniffed at the air, catching a scent I recognised. Dean's scent. She knew where he was. Images flashed through my mind; terrifying images of Dean being clawed, pulled and ripped apart. Being beaten, burnt and cut slowly as thousands of other snarling, blood thirsty monsters watched and cheered on the one who tortured Dean's soul. That was enough, I couldn't watch anymore. Couldn't bare it. We had to find him, and fast.


	8. Going Under

After making minced meat out of that demon she started tracking Dean's scent. It stuck me as strange how she knew it so well, when as far as I was concerned; she had never laid eyes on him. The thought of her being with him crossed my mind, had she gone and tried to protect him, knowing full well how I felt about him? No, that was an impossibility…though my life was full of them.

Running with her was amazing. Never before had I felt so much power charging through my body. Even before my deal, it didn't feel like this. I realise now that it was limited, I never did give into her completely like this. Allowing her to control everything was something I was dead set against, fearing I would lose myself and cross the very thin line between good and evil. I could feel now that she wasn't, if anything she was as angelic as Cas was. She was fearless, loyal and pure. Not something I should be afraid of.

The great muscles in my legs flexed and pulsed with the power that they held. They worked together perfectly, maximising the speed that she could push the body to. Giant paws spreading the weight evenly, making it feel as though I was weightless and for a body that was so big, agility wasn't a problem either. Turning corners, jumping over whatever got in the way and she never broke pace.

Up ahead I could see the ground give way to what looked like a pit, the darkness sank down there, suffocating what lay down in its depths. I was sure she was going to turn back or at the very least run around, but that would be too easy. Something I had picked up on about her straight away was that she had no sense of self preservation, and why should she? She could kill a demon with a simple snap of the jaws. Actually kill it, not exorcise it. The Colt was the only thing I had heard of that could do such a thing and that still used magic.

The closer we got to the pit, the more energy I could feel her force to the back legs and the more anxious I grew. She was going to throw us down there…that didn't sit too well with me. I was getting quite fond of my new body and didn't want it breaking in two. The wolf was unbelievably calm for something that was about to kill itself, she kept my breathing even and my heart pounded to a steady beat. She wasn't scared, she knew what she was doing but she wasn't sharing it with me.

I could see demons gathering, all staring down into the hole. Some cackling as they danced along the edge while others watched, their attention captured by something unknown down below. She started to work my legs harder, making them move even faster than before.

The closer we got the more I could see into it, the wall around poured with blood, escaped souls clung to the jagged rocks that hung out from it, their faces barely human from the years of torture they had endured. It was the most horrific sight I had ever seen. Their bodies were mangled and torn; their mouths open wide and stretched out of shape with the skin rippled from the way they had set. Eye sockets dragged down and red with blood. All of them desperately trying to reach the top to escape their punishments. My watching them was short lived as I touched the edge, I didn't have the time to protest or get her to reconsider before she reared up and pushed down hard onto my back legs. The push sent me soaring into the air, part way over the pit. Bodies reached out weakly, not knowing what I was, perhaps thinking that I was here to help them. How far off the mark were they…

The fall lasted a few seconds, plummeting further into the darkness and the unearthly sounds that swam below. I thought that the landing would surely kill me, landing on my back or head, but I landed on my feet with an earth shattering thud - without so much as a scratch. Near were hundreds of cheering demons; the lower levels bore clubs of some sort, while the higher had much more deadlier, home grown weapons. Rotted teeth snapped and crashed together as they bellowed with laughter. Three ran at me, the wolf pulled my body back up onto its back legs and on que claws ripped out of my paws, sending another splitting pain through them. Standing up, I was at least 8ft tall, the tip of my…tail…brushed along the floor, fur matting from the blood it swept up as it swung softly from side to side. She was obviously enjoying herself.

Flinging an arm forward she swiped at the larger demon on the right, digging the claws in deep before finishing the swing that she started. The demons chest pealed away with ease, the bones cracked as they were ripped out of its chest cavity and the monster bellowed in pain. Falling down onto it's knee's, she thrusted my free arm up and into its chin, snapping the neck. Two dead demons - I could get used to this.

One of the others backed up and blended back into the crowd but the runt stayed. Its teeth chattering, only stopping to allow it's lizard like tongue to lick around the outside, saliva dripping from its lips. Kinda reminded me of the alien from...Alien. The demon flicked out its tongue again, as if it was tasting the air - Big mistake. All it took was a split second of lapsed judgment in how far he let his tongue stretch out and my wolf grabbed at the opportunity, literally. She gripped the slimy tongue tight, let it wrap around my paw and yanked on it hard sending the demon flying through the air over the top of me. I felt it pull a little, then some more before it springing back. I looked down to find the demons tongue still wriggling in my hand. My tail wagged some more, faster and harder than before, she must have been really happy to finally be able to unleash on these things after spending years hiding from them.

I could feel a growl building in my chest; it grew bigger as I seemed to as well. I felt taller, wider and more dominant, and the grumbling tore through me with such force I thought it would knock me back - a deafening roar ripped through my lips and sent a shock wave across the ground.

While the demons around me were unsteady, she dropped back down, caught the scent again and ran with it. The familiar musky smell swam around my head and I just needed to get to him. She started to run, pushing through the crowd, knocking demons left, right and centre to the ground, snapping at the ones that got too close and growling all the way. The scent was getting stronger - we were close.

I ended up in a large clearing; demons formed a perfect circle around me and above was the centre of the black hole that we fell down. Directly in front of me was a rack, some woman strapped to it, screaming holy hell. As I thought about what she was doing there, alone and being watched by thousands of blood thirsty demons, I had some strange feeling that_** I**_ was being watched. My ears shot back a second before there was a pair of hands on my back.

She shifted my weight back and then shoved it forward, throwing my attacker to the ground in front of me. He rolled and pulled a silver knife from his boot as he struggled to stop. My eyes widened when I saw his face - Dean. He was the one who attacked. Was he part of some game, had he freed himself from a rack like the woman's and now he was to fight whatever demon stepped into the ring? Dean found his feet and ran for me. In a state of shock and awe from seeing him again, I couldn't move. He drove the knife deep into my chest, but to his surprise (as well as mine…) the silver had no effect. Thinking on his feet he jumped for my head, pulling at the shaggy fur that covered me; and he was grunting, something's never change.

I shook my friend from my head, knowing I had to find a way to make him understand. I had no idea how to change back and to be honest, I didn't really want to end up naked in front of a bunch of demons. Dean landed with a thump to my right, he was dazed, trying to catch his breath. I walked over to him with my head low, hoping he would see the submissive signals - he didn't. He leaped for me again, but I countered and pushed him back down, holding him gently under my paws. I was screaming at him to see me as I stared deep into his dull, emerald green eyes. He was panicking, his eyes searching everywhere but my face for a way out. A low, heartfelt whine slipped from my gut as my head cocked to the side, never breaking contact with him. The hunter stopped moving and mirrored his head to mine. I could feel him wanting to free his arms, and I let him, there was no fight left in him. He moved his bloody hands to my face, holding it with great care. He caught my gaze and held that too. The spark that was missing from his eyes flickered quickly as they widened.

"L…Lex?" he choked on my name, it was only a rough whisper but he said it. Both I and the wolf went nuts. The wag from my tail started up again and very quickly spread through my whole body and I was unbelievably happy. She moved to the side and nudged him to his feet. A faint, exhausted smile tugged at his cracked lips as he turned to look over me and my new body. "What the…"

"Well done Lexi. Now, we have to go." I whipped around to find Castiel standing with us. A bright light crept from his centre, it was a blinding, pure white light and as quickly as it appeared it exploded from him. For me, it all went dark and my last thought was Dean's beaten and bloody, smiling face.


	9. Lazarus Rising

Lazarus Rising.

I felt cold. When the last thing I remember was being crazy hot. I didn't want to open my eyes; I wanted to stay in the dark where it was safe, where I couldn't see the horror that was around me. That's when I noticed it was quiet, only soft footsteps pacing back and forth not far from me. There was no moaning, screaming or shouting. Nothing like before. That was a relief…sort of. If I wasn't down under, then where was I?

"At last." my ears flinched at the sound of Castiel's voice. Those paces, that must have belonged to him, came closer and part of what I assumed was the bed, sank down under his weight. His hand found my hair as he spoke softly, "No need to worry anymore Lex. I'll be back soon." and with a flutter, he was gone.

I moved under what was over me, I couldn't feel any fur, so I was back. Good. I freed my arms from the material that was wrapped tight around me and the covers above. When I opened my eyes everything was different. Colours were brighter, lines were sharper and everything was so much more detailed. I could see the lines in the beige fabric that covered me, the way it weaved - hell, I could tell you the damn thread count!

Quickly I realised that it was Cas' trench coat that I was trapped inside and that underneath, I was as naked as the day I was born. He had carried me again.

I lifted my palm to my head as I remembered our little 'field trip', the memories causing my face to twist into uncomfortable knots. Rocking against my hand, I was willing the images away when the last one hit - Dean's lifeless eyes staring at me and my new found body. I remembered his facial expressions as the realisation set in. Ranging from the calm determination of an expert hunter, then the dumbing confusion, to the hardening shock and finally softening with unconditional love when he saw that it was truly me underneath all of that fur. I remembered the quick flash of light in his eyes.

I moved around some more, kicking the coat from around my legs and finding the rough cotton sheet from the bed covers. Sitting up, I looked to my night stand out of habit and was shocked to find my photograph was there. Dean was smiling back at me, one of the happiest smiles I had ever seen; in turn bring my own to my lips. I reached out to it but as I evened out my weight something went nuts in the back of my mind.

I froze where I was as I tried to figure out what 'my other half' was kicking up such a fuss over. I could see this 'understanding' each other taking months to perfect. The noise she was making worried me, it was this horrible low whine like she was scared, or trying to warn me about something. It was constant and grew louder the longer she carried on, when suddenly she stopped dead. The hairs on the back of my neck and arms stood on edge, my muscles tensed and rooted me in my place and everything slowed down. I could feel a rumbling, like the first tremor of an earthquake far away - was she warning me about an earthquake? The rumble grew stronger, as if it was getting closer and I could hear it's beat quickening. I looked out of the dingy window, pulling the white cotton sheet up around me as I moved from the bed. Outside nothing seemed wrong, people were walking around, going about their business. My eyebrow drew together as I watched them; they seemed to be unaware of the danger that was coming. I jumped out of my skin when the wolf barked at me, dragging my attention back to the rumbling a second too late.

A wave of energy smacked into my body and knocked me backwards, lifting me from the floor and across the room. I slammed into the wall on the other side of the bed and crashed, a little less than gracefully to the floorboards. I pushed my elbow down and gathered my feet from beneath me; slowly and with my sheet, I stood up again. "What the fuck was that?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Bobby it's ME!" I shouted as the old man swung a knife for me, pushing my mid section back to avoid the silver blade.

"I'm gunna kill you, you son of a bitch…" he lunged his whole body at me, trying desperately to cut or stab my skin. I managed to snake my arms around his back and reach for an elbow, when I gripped some part of his arm I yanked it back causing him to spin off me and into a set of dusty drawers. Bobby huffed and slammed his hands down angrily, when he stopped and looked to where the knife should have been. I watched the older hunter spin on his heels, his face red with fury.

"Wait!" I held out my arms in front of me, one palm out and the other clutching the knife. "If I were a shape shifter…would I be able to do this?" I drew in a deep breath and clenched my other fist as I moved the razor sharp blade over my forearm. I watched Bobby watching me, his eyes widening as the silver pierced my skin and I dragged it slowly across; I squeezed my eyes shut as the pain burned down my arm, memories flashed in my mind of the torture I was subjected to not too long ago. I felt my blood seep out from the cut and trickle down my arm. Bobby took a step back, his mouth hanging.

"Dean?"

"Yeah…it's me." nervous smiles broke across both of our lips. He stepped closer and flung his arms around me tight, but as quickly as he wrapped himself around me he pulled away. He reached into his pocket and dragged out a silver hip flask, popped the lid and jerked it in my direction. Water filled my mouth and drenched my face - holy water. I blinked the droplets from my eyelashes and spat out the stale liquid as I sighed. "I'm not a demon either…"

"Sorry…had to be sure." he pulled me into him again, with more force than before. This time I returned the gesture and hugged back. This man was like a father to me, even when my dad was still alive, I got more love and attention from Bobby than I ever did from John. "It's good to see you boy." he placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed himself away; looking me up and down he was shaking his head and smiling. Dropping his hands he let out a long sigh and fixed his trusty trucker cap that covered his grey hair, "Good to see you…"

"How did you…I mean…" after about half an hour of Bobby fussing over me he finally asked the question that I'd been wanting an answer to myself.

"I dunno. I just…woke up."

"Woke up, where?!"

"Where do you think?" I cocked my brow.

"You…dug yourself out…?" The old man was horrified.

"Yeah. Good job on the burial by the way, nice and far away from anything at all…" I rolled my eyes, thinking about the miles I walked to find that abandoned gas station.

"Why did you bury me? Why not the usual salt and burn?"

"Sam didn't want to. He said something about you needing a body for when he brought you back." he spoke sharply, the thoughts in his head turning in the same direction as my own.

"Dammit Sammy!" I slummed myself down in the leather chair that stood in front of Bobby's book covered desk. "Where is he? I tried his cell but the number had been disconnected."

"I'm not sure. After…everything, he was restless. I tried to look after him Dean, I did, but he didn't want to be babysat."

My thoughts wondered to somewhere warm, "Lexi. Where is she?" I thought of her and my heart ached. I found it strange that I wanted to see her more than I did my own brother, that I needed to see her.

"Again, I don't know. She changed after you died Dean. It was like she died with you. She turned cold, became…distant and reckless, she was going to get herself killed and I think that was the plan. Lex took off, I don't want to say it but it wouldn't surprise me if…"

"No she's not. She's not dead."

"How'd you know that?" he moved behind me.

"I just do. She's close Bobby, I'll find her." I knew how to. Whenever we were separated we would leave each other cryptics in phone books, and no doubt she was still doing it out of habit. Lexi never wondered far from me and Sam when she did go it alone. With that I had a thought, "She's in Illinois."


	10. Q and A Time with an Angel

**Q and A Time with an Angel.**

"Where the hell have you been?" I snapped when I knew Castiel had come back. My nose tingled when he was around, he smelt sweet.

"To find Dean. He is a lot faster than I thought he would be. He wasn't at the grave site." he sounded bored, like he wasn't having fun anymore.

"Well he's just woken up after 4 months of being ripped apart, I think I'd shag ass too. Did you find him?" I turned to face him. Now showered and fully clothed.

"Yes. A gas station 8 miles from the woods. I'm surprised he made it with no water. He has gone to Robert Singer."

"Bobby…" I lifted my hands to my face and held it while I thought of the old hunter. I'd been a little less than a total bitch with him. He must hate me. When I first started hunting, a wendigo got me pretty bad; the three scars lined across my stomach were a constant reminder of how close I came to death. Bobby had found me, cold and bloody, deep in the thick woods surrounding Forks in Washington. Turned out he was looking for the same thing but I had beaten him to it. Found me just in time though, if it wasn't for him I would have bled to death out there.

_Bobby got me to the nearest hospital, covered as my uncle and had me patched up. Then came the lecture on how a young girl like me shouldn't be hunting, how dangerous it was and how next time I might not be so lucky. He carried on like that for days. It always struck me as strange how I would wake up and he would still be there, when I didn't even know the guy. Either dozing in the chair next to my bed, talking on the phone or pacing near the window. One afternoon I woke up and felt a lot better than I had all week. I tried getting up, to get out of the place but he wouldn't let me._

_"There's no rush kid." _  
_"Yes there is. I need to find…"_  
_"What? What could be more important than getting your strength back?"_  
_"My brother…" after that he fell silent. I never spoke of my family before, but it wasn't long until he asked the question I had been waiting days for._

_"Is that why you hunt…your brother?"_  
_"No." I hadn't cried in front of him, not even when I was torn up. I turned away so I didn't start now._  
_"Then why? You can't just be doing something like this for fun!"_  
_"My parents…they were killed by…something. Sacrificed." _  
_"Oh…how did you…"_  
_"My father was a hunter, a good one - James Jacobs. He taught me everything when I was younger; as I grew up I lost interest. Wondered away from the fairy tales of monsters and demons. I got rusty." _

_"JJ. He was your father?"_  
_"You knew him?"_  
_"You could say that. Worked with him a few times. He was a good man…I'm sorry." That was the first time I had spoken of my family's fate. The first time I had spoken about them at all since they were killed. Bobby didn't press after that. He went real quiet, pulling on the bill of his dirty trucker cap every now and then; he was grieving the loss of his friend._

"How is he?" I turned my attention back to Dean, thinking about how I'd just ran out on Bobby hurt far too much. Especially now with 'the soul' thrown into the mix. Every emotion was way too intense right now. While Cas was away, I cried because of how the water felt on my skin…

"Dean is fine. A little shaken, but that is to be expected. I tried to speak to him." The angel stuffed his hands deep into the pockets of his trusty trench coat.

"What do you mean 'tried'?" I moved closer to him.

"Some people are special; they are able to look upon me for what I am. My true visage."

"And you thought that Dean was one of them?"

"Yes. I was wrong." He bowed his head, almost as if he was ashamed.

"Right…" I grabbed my leather jacket from the bed. "Let's go."

"Where? They aren't there anymore."

"Then where are they?"

"They have found Sam. They're…" Castiel stopped abruptly. He looked around, his blue eyes wide. He started to flicker in front of me.

"Cas…"

"I'm being called."

"That doesn't happen. It never has before…"

"It isn't Heaven calling this time." and with another flicker, he was gone. His expression haunted me. He looked terrified of the mystery that was calling him away.

I slammed my boot down hard on the gas, the wheels on my black 1968 Shelby Mustang spun on the gravel as they screamed out of the parking lot of the motel. Inside, I hadn't noticed how dark it had gotten, the sky was almost black and the stars were winking above. I flicked the headlights on and illuminated that dirt road ahead of me. I lifted my elbow and smashed it through the window, the automatic winder not being fast enough. The clean air hit my face, and I searched through the different scents until I found the one I wanted. This was something I remembered how to work properly - my nose. How sensitive it was and how easily I could pick up the trail of whatever I was hunting. This time I was looking for my angel. I didn't know if he was in danger, neither did he, and I wasn't about to take that chance._There._ I picked it up, held on to it and followed it to wherever it would take me.

I had been driving for miles. From looking at the lights to the right, it looked like I had driven to the back end of the other side of town. Slowly they became very few and far between, giving way to the woodland areas. Cas' scent was getting stronger and pulled to the right quickly, my hands did the same on the wheel, sending me barrelling through a corn field. The headlights drenched the vegetables, showing their true golden kernels and thick green leaves before my car crushed them into the ground. I pushed my foot harder; willing the car to move faster than the 140 it was already going. The car roared louder, the needle on the dial creeping up slightly. The wind howled in my ears, throwing my long hair back and Castiel's scent dominated my senses.

Breaking through the field I could see an old, abandoned barn. Sticking out around the back were the tail lights from Bobby's busted up 1971 Chevelle. He had been the one who called for Cas. I slammed down on the breaks, jerking me to a stop not far from the barn. There were quick flashes of light breaking through the cracks, all equally timed and following a burst of glass, like bulbs popping. I pushed open the door and hit the ground running, without giving a second thought to closing the door. It started to rain, my boots squelched on the muddy ground and I almost slipped a few times as I scrambled towards the open doors. Running towards the door on the barn, I picked up another familiar scent – Dean. He was in there, waiting for us to meet again, without even expecting it. Questions flashed quickly through my mind; How was he? How did he look? Would he still be _my _Dean?

"DEAN NO!" I barked as I stormed through into the open room, stopping when I saw him lunging for Cas. He froze when my voice touched his ears, a blade 2 inches from the angel's chest. The hunter turned his head, then his body followed as his eyes met mine. My breath caught in my throat when I could see him clearly and the wolf in my head went nuts. A smile broke across my lips and my legs ran again. Dean smiled his own devastatingly beautiful smile, let the knife fall from his hand and held his arms open wide. I jumped up into him, flung my arms tight around his neck and my legs around his waist. He held my back and pulled me hard against his chest.

"Hey you." Dean whispered softly into my ear.

"I've missed you so much..." The tears that I didn't even know were there broke free and ran down my face onto his old brown leather jacket. He moved one of his hands up into my hair and wound some around his fingers. I heard him draw in a deep breath and hold it.

"I've missed you too. Everything about you Lex." He squeezed his arm that was holding me tighter. We could have stayed in that embrace forever. Content, wrapped in our arms and feeling the love that was pouring out of us for each other. It was perfect.

"I hate to break up this heartbreaking reunion but we've still got the slight matter of what busted Dean out of hell to deal with." Bobby's words were blunt, like always. I opened my eyes and looked at him from my place on Dean's shoulder. He didn't look angry with me, he looked like he understood why I did what I did. I felt my eyes frown, the old man nodded his head slowly and half smiled.

I loosened my hold and let my legs fall free; Dean lowered me to the ground and looked me up and down. He smirked when he glanced over my chest. I looked down at myself, the rain had dampened the white wife beater I had on and my pink bra was clearly visible through it.

"Good to see something never change." I punched his shoulder playfully before I moved in-between him and Castiel. I smiled to myself; he hadn't changed, not from what I could see anyway. He was still my Dean.

"Same here…" he answered quietly as he turned with me, his smirk fading leaving an almost dazed smile behind; his fingers finally letting go of the strands of hair he still held.

"No we don't Bobby…" I stood next to Cas.

"Alexcia was the one who brought you back Dean. I was just the ride out of there."

I straightened my self out, standing almost proudly next to Castiel. I had done what no other could. Not Sam, not Bobby or any kind of deal – I had raised Dean from the pits of Hell.

"…What?" Dean took his time with the word, his mind running over all the possibilities of what I could have done to save him.

"I saved you Dean. I went down there and dragged your ass out. Don't you remember?" I watched him turn his head away, eyes searching trying to find those last minutes he spent down there and what they would hold.

"No…"

"There's still another question that needs to be answered." All eyes moved onto Bobby. "Who is this guy and what does he have to do with this?"

"I am Castiel. An angel of the Lord." He spoke loud and clear, without any hint of embarrassment.

"Yeah right." Dean snapped. "Who are you really?!"

"He's telling the truth. It's taken me a little time to believe him, but he is what he says he is Dean." I quickly jumped to the angel's defense.

"An angel…" it was clear from his tone he was still having trouble with that concept.

"It was all his idea. I couldn't have done it without him."

"And why would an angel save me from Hell?" the hunter's words were sharp, so very self worthless and directed towards Castiel.

Now this was something even I wasn't sure of. I'd never really asked Cas why he wanted Dean out, I just assumed he didn't belong there.

"Because we have work for you."


	11. Heartbeats

Heartbeats.

I hung back in the darkness, in the shadows the inside of my car provided. Dean hadn't said anything about his time in Hell, more specifically about his last few minutes with me and Cas, and it had me thinking. Did he remember and just wasn't talking about it in front of Bobby, or didn't he remember anything at all?

Bobby stepped out from the passenger side of his car and stretch out his back. The drive from Illinois up to Bobby's salvage yard in South Dakota was a bit of a long one, though we made it just before sunrise with the way we pushed it - those deserted back roads were made for hunters. I watched Dean's boot touch the dirt and twist as he shifted his weight. When he pulled his body out of the car, there was no sign of fatigue or pain, if anything he looked better than he ever had. He didn't stretch or crack any bones, he simply straightened out his leather jacket and shoved his hands deep in the pockets.

"Can you hear them?" Castiel's voice broke through the silence that had fallen on us since we got in the car.  
"Just about…" I turned my head slightly to the left, pointing my ear forward a little more. When Bobby's words touched, my ear flinched with the sound.

"Do you believe him?" he hushed a whisper towards Dean.

"Lexi seems to…" it was clear to me that the younger hunter was questioning this. He had every right to - I did.

"There's nothing else Dean…nothing powerful enough to actually pull someone from the pit!" Bobby was getting louder. Dean chanced a look to me, he couldn't see through the shadows that hung over, yet he was staring right at me.

"What is he doing with Lex, what does she have to do with this?" he was still staring.

"No idea. She knows you better than anyone, maybe he needed her to track you?"

"He's an 'angel', surely he could do that himself."

"Well I don't know boy! Why don't you go find out, huh? Do us both a favour…I'm going inside…" Bobby turned away and headed up his front porch, Dean's head followed him.

"To do what?"

"To find something, other than an angel, that could've saved your sorry ass!" the old man yelled over his shoulder before he slammed the front door.

Dean's gaze fell back onto me. I held it for as long as I could before he started moving. I had missed him so much, feeling him watching me again was wonderful, even though it meant answering questions I really didn't want to.

"I should go, but I will be back later. Bring him round Lexi, make him understand."

"Don't worry Cas, I'll take care of it." I didn't turn to face my angel as I spoke, knowing he would be gone before I could look at him. Pushing open the door to the Mustang I stepped out and gently let it close. I didn't want to stay in the car with Dean, not with the sun just about to rise; I wouldn't be able to see the light catch the sparkle in his deep emerald eyes that I so desperately missed, the natural blonds and browns in his shaggy cropped hair or the faint reminder of a shallow scar that refused to leave the top of his cheek bone. I needed the light to see all of those, he shouldn't be hidden away in the shadows with me.

I was still wary of the wolf inside of me, she could be unpredictable and I had no idea how far she could be pushed before she would swallow me again. In that respect I did feel like a monster that should be locked away, hidden or even killed but it was the warmth she provided that stopped me from trying anything; How I felt like nothing could touch me, how strong she made me feel and how she got just as excited as I did when Dean came into view. It was obvious to me she loved him, but I didn't understand how she could. Back down there in the dark was the first time, that I was aware of, she had seen him.

"So…" Dean started as he lent on the hood of the car next to me, "How've you been?"

I tilted my head up to look at him, his trademark smirk plastered across his full lips, "Peachey. If it wasn't Jack, Jim or Jose chasing me to an early grave, there was always the demon on my ass or the black dog that wanted a chew toy…so yeah, things have been great…" I slipped up onto the hood, legs dangling over the side. Even with my added height, Dean was still taller than me.

"Yeah. Bobby said you had taken everything with the deal a little…hard. I did wonder why you just split that night without warning, I should have told you sooner. I'm sorry Lex." he closed the tiny gap that was between us.

"You didn't think of me…" I was shocked at myself for telling him how I really felt, but he didn't seem to be.

"No…I wasn't thinking at all, but you already know that." his strong voice was soft and quiet, making our conversation completely private. That was something else I loved about him, how I got to see the real Dean Winchester. The kind, loving and passionate side; the lost and lonely man who lives deep beneath the walls. "I'm sorry."

"I know you are. I am too." I really was sorry. Sorry for not being there at the end, for not finding a way out and for not being there right from the start. Yes I was with him when Sam was killed but I was the one, along with Bobby, who ran to stop the Devils Gate being opened. Dean stayed behind in that abandoned house with his brother's corpse. That was enough to drive him to do what he did. When I did find out what was going on, I left. Made some crappy excuse of a hunt and never went back – I couldn't deal with it, knowing Dean could be taken from me at any time. I never did ask for the date. He knew exactly what I was apologising for.

We sat there for a few minutes in silence, just listening to the world around us come to life. The first rays of sun light splintered through the trees, bringing a small, thoughtful smile to my lips. It had been so long since I had last seen the sun rise, I'd almost forgotten how beautiful it was. Even the wolf calmed for this. Slowly, Dean laced his fingers with mine. He didn't make any other move, and that was enough. There we were, just like many times before, lent up against a car with our hands hanging lazily and entwined together, content in not sharing our moment with anyone else. That was something I missed, just being with him.

"So how much did this cost you?" Dean turned to me, his face suddenly somber.

"Nothing." I answered plainly, never breaking eye contact. I wasn't lying, nor was I telling the whole truth.

"C'mon Lex, something like this comes with a high price tag. Don't take me for a fool, I wasn't born yesterday."

"Well…you were_ reborn_ yesterday…" I couldn't help it, he set me up perfectly for that one. I smiled innocently as he shook his head, trying to suppress the chuckle that wanted to break free. If this situation was reversed, he would have said the exact same thing. I thought about what I would tell him for a few seconds, idea's running a mile a minute through my head. None of them made sense, and all of them ended the same way - Dean looking at me like I was something evil, something that should be killed. Something that he should hunt. The thought of him pushing me away, rejecting me, scared me more than the thought of taking another trip downstairs. I had to be careful with this.

"You gunna tell me, or am I gunna have to ask your angel friend? One way or another Lexi I…"

"Alright! Alright…" I was just going to have to tell him the truth. I let my gaze fall down to the floor, I watched my feet swing back and forth. "My soul." The hunter didn't move, he just stared at me for what felt like forever.

"How long did they give you?" he sighed deeply.

"As long as I want." I lifted my head to him. Confusion washed over his face and I couldn't help but smile a little. He looked like a lost puppy.

"What'dya mean?" he asked, still confused.

"There are things you don't know about me Dean, things about my past. So much that you could fill a book."

"Care to tell me these things?"

"I'll tell you what you need to know, something's I'll save for a rainy day." he nodded his head as he thought over my words.

"Okay…then tell me."

"Before I met you I…I had my soul taken from me, for reasons that aren't important right now. I would die as and when, no hellhounds, no bounty over my head. My soul was already in hell being tortured, they were just waiting on me to join it." I stopped when Dean's eyes widened. I needed to watch my words. "Without it I was cold, dead almost. I couldn't feel any emotions, connect with people or even care about them…until I met you and Sam. Something happened Dean…I could feel again. I could laugh and cry. More importantly, I could care for another human being."

"I don't get this. I mean I'm happy Sam and I could help, but I don't understand why you never told us…me…and what this has to do with getting me out?" He moved to stand in front of me. My legs automatically parted to let him step closer and he did.

"Castiel explained that the only way I could save you was if I was…reunited with my soul. So I went, found my soul and found you." I caught myself playing with the tip of his jacket collar, rolling the leather between my finger and thumb.

"Well that doesn't sound all that bad. If anything it's great. You're free too." his face had lost the confusion, now he looked plain happy.

"You didn't know me before." I said quietly and let my eyes fall again.

"You seem fine to me. You're still Lexi." he moved his hand to my face, and held my chin in his fingers, "Still_my_ Lexi."

"Wait until you see me get angry, then you'll know what I'm talking about." I huffed out a smirk.

We stayed in that position for what felt like forever but still didn't feel long enough; staring deeply into each others eyes. Dean's lips curled into the smallest smile, slowly he leant forward and gently pressed a kiss onto my forehead. Our arms snaked around each other, I felt his hands move down to the small of my back and we pulled ourselves into the other. Dean's lips pressed once again before leaving my skin, I lowered and lay my head on his chest and he rested his on top of mine. We both drew in deep breaths, bathing in each others scents.

"I've missed you." He whispered softly. I hugged him tighter, unable to voice how happy I was at that moment. Reluctantly we let go, Dean moved back to my side and took my hand again. Together we watched the sun rise higher, my head fell onto his shoulder and stayed there. He never moved but I felt him smile; and in my ears, unknowingly to him I could hear his heart beating as loud as a drum, beat just a little bit faster than before. I smiled again - his heart was beating.


	12. Running

**Disclaimer: **

**God (Kripke) owns everything, except for Lexi.**

**Ok, so I think this is the longest chapter yet. I intended it being a lot longer and finishing the chapter properly instead of the way I have, but I wouldn't put you through that! **

**I hope you enjoy this, and please, R&R! Thanks x**

_"You're an animal! A filthy…dirty...dog that needs putting down!" Dean stalked towards me, his eyes wild with disgust. "It's unnatural, you don't deserve to live!"_

_"Dean, please! Don't do this…" I begged as I crawled backwards across the cold, hard floor, desperately trying to get away from him. He looked every bit the hunter when he reached deep into the inside pocket of his old brown leather jacket. He pulled out his silver and ivory colt .45 pistol, pointed it straight at me and aimed for my heart._

_"I have to…" he pulled the trigger._

I woke with a start, my body jerking me up from the pillow at a crooked angle. A cold sweat teased my forehead and the back of my neck.

"Lexi, what's wrong?" Dean's hushed words startled me. I turned the top half of my body back, following his voice. He was lay beside me, looking up at me with concern pouring out of his tired eyes.

"Yeah…bad dream…" it was just a dream. Dean didn't know. Everything was fine.

"Must have been pretty bad." I watched him turn onto his side and curl his body, waiting for me to lie back down. "Oh and I think you need to trim your nails, you scratched me pretty deep while you were rolling around the place." his lids became heavy again and started to close.

"Sorry…I will. Go back to sleep Dean." I placed the steadier of my hands on his thigh, just below the bottom of his boxers and studied my nails. They were fine, a nice neat length - they didn't need trimming, so what was he talking about?

I sat there in the dark a little while longer, untangling the covers from around my feet by wiggling them free. Every time I closed my eyes I could see the barrel of the gun right in front of me, waiting to be fired. I wasn't scared of the bullet; I was scared of the man pulling the trigger; how different and how black and white he was, not seeing any shades of grey or listening to reason. The way he spoke to me. The way he looked so disgusted in me. He had never treated me like that, even when we argued or I've taken swings at him. It was clear to me now that I had to do everything in my power to stop Dean from finding out my dirty little secret.

"Lex…" he whispered softly.

"Mmm?"

"I'm getting cold. Come back to bed." With that, I smiled as I lay back down, pulling the sheets up with me and letting them cover us. Dean lifted his arm and let it fall lazily across my stomach. When I didn't shrug his hand away, he pulled me closer to him. From the outside looking in, to find two friends sharing a bed the way we were might seem...weird, but to us and to the people who knew us, it was perfectly normal. I settled back into the pillow and contently listened to Dean breathing. He was so happy to be home and safe that he was practically purring into my ear.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Dean…Dean, wake up…" Sam's soft voice slipped into my subconscious and dragged me out. Momentarily I hated him for it, for bringing me away from the safety of my slumber but still, I obeyed my little brother's voice.

"Hmmm?" was all that I could manage.

"C'mon man, it's past 3pm and we still need to figure some stuff out." I was vaguely aware that he was now shaking my shoulder.

"Like what?" I stirred, still mumbling my words.

"Like what busted you out for starters…and umm, what it means…" he was starting to sound whiney.

"Lexi…got me…saved me…" the darkness was clawing me back inside, beaconing me to settle within it again. "I need sleep Sam." I spoke sternly, in my big brother voice.

"Alright…" I heard him exhale in that annoying, didn't get his own way, childish mentality and walk away.

I turned onto my side and stretched out my arm to feel around for a familiar and warm body, but the bed was empty, Lexi wasn't there. I opened my eyes part way and confirmed what I thought. She was gone. I winced a little with the physical pain that it caused, even though I knew she wasn't gone for good, it still hurt to think she had left me alone. It was a stupid notion to even entertain the thought, she was her own person who had her own things to deal with but it dusted off old memories of her leaving after she found out about the deal I had made for my soul. Yeah she checked in, gave me any information she found but hearing her voice down the phone wasn't the same as having her by my side. It was my own fault that she left, if I hadn't been so bull headed about the whole thing and actually admitted I was scared and that I needed her to stay, she would have. But I didn't. I let her walk away.

"He shouldn't be sleeping at a time like this Bobby." I stopped when I heard Sam's voice sound a couple of rooms over.

"He hasn't slept for 4 months Sam, god knows how long that is down there. Give the boy a break." the pout that occupied my lips straightened out after hearing the older man jump to my defense.

"Nevermind…he mentioned something about Lexi, what is he talking about?"

"She left around 7 this morning, maybe he's wondering where she is?" Bobby answered innocently.

"She's here?" Sam sounded surprised.

"Yeah. Where else would she be?"

"Oh…" someone sat down. The sound of air puffing out of a leather chair broke through the tension. "Dean said something about her, that she saved him?"

"She did." a light chuckle escaped my dry lips, Bobby was always so blunt.

"What? How?!" the leather creaked, it was Sam that had taken a seat. Boy shouldn't be so damn tall, it's not normal. "I tried everything I could think of to get him out, even my own deal but nothing would work."

"I'm a little hazy on the details, but I'm getting the feeling it took more than a deal to get it done. From what I got, sounds like she went for a stroll down there…"

"Down the pit?" Sam sounded surprised. It was clear that was the one thing he didn't try.

"Yeah. Like I said, I don't know details. Only that it had something to do with her and this angel, Castiel." my ears twitched at the name. I still wasn't sure about this trench coat wearing guy, but Lexi trusted him and that had to count for something. She wasn't the most trusting of people.

"Castiel is an angel? But Pamela's eyes…they were…"

"Burnt out, I know. I was there…but, he did warn her. There's tons of lore about how only certain people can see or hear them in their true form. Pamela obviously wasn't one of em!"

That was it, I was wide awake and thinking of the poor woman we had put into hospital, who would never be able to see again. All because of us. That was why we ended up summoning the angel, at the time we didn't know and with it burning the psychic's eyes out when she tried taking a peek, we figured he wasn't all that friendly. Although even in the flesh, he still didn't seem all that hospitable. I kicked the sheets away and swung my legs over the side of the bed to pull myself up. I needed to pee, and god, was I hungry.

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"No. Dean can never know Cas…" I turned back to face my blue eyed angel as I finished buttoning up my shirt.

"He will find out Lexi, you can't hide something like this forever." he looked sympathetic. Though I knew he wasn't. He was starting to get pretty good at faking emotions.

"Yeah well, I'll cross that bridge when we come to it, but for now he doesn't need to know." I started moving out of the thick woodland area not far from Bobby's salvage yard. My steps were strong and confident, and I felt much better than I had the night before after burning the energy that had built up inside.

Castiel had mapped out a strict exercise regime, that at first sounded impossible but ended up being just what I needed. A 20 mile up hill run through the woods and into the denser forest, coming back down a different route with sharp turns and things in my way, all the time following the angel's scent - like a greyhound chasing the rabbit down at the track. Running was exhilarating.

"Alexcia…" I turned back to find out what Cas wanted, his face was empty and that only meant one thing - trouble.

"What? What is it?" I inched towards him, turning my right foot half way ready to run for the house.

"Something is going on at the house, I need you to find out what it is and stop it. I cannot stay, I'm being called. Must be something big…" He tilted his head to the sky, as if he was listening intently to someone whispering to him. He nodded his head and his eyes fell closed.

"Castiel…I…"

"Go. Help them before it breaks."

"Before what breaks? Cas? CAS?!" I spun around looking for him, but it was no use, he was gone.  
I started for the house, my strides long and heavy - I was still at least 8 miles from Bobby's. My wolf growled demandingly in my head, painting a picture of her running like she did in hell. It was then I realised what she wanted me to do. As I ran, I ripped at my shirt paying no attention to the buttons that were fastened. They popped away with ease and fell to the woodland floor. The cold air hit my chest and stomach causing me to suck in a deep breath, the rest of me only covered by a cropped top and bra. My heart was pounding, not from the running but from the fear of what could be happening, what could be coming for Dean. I pushed my legs harder - I had to get to him, to save him.

There was a rumble in my head and I remembered what she wanted me to do. I readied myself, still unsure as to what was going to happen but when it came to Dean, I trusted her to do the right thing. I threw my arms out in front of me and let my body fall towards the ground. My hands hit the dirt and my fingers bore down, I dragged them back through the soil, helping to propel my body forward. I was surprised with how much ground I covered in that one bound. Using the power in both my arms and legs was so much better than running upright. It felt odd, being on the ground running like a…wolf, when I didn't have the body of one. That morning when I ran with Cas, he had gotten me angry enough that I…phased, as he called it. Then ran me all over the place to burn it out of me. Anger was the key to her prison, only I wasn't too sure about turning the lock this time. I could do this without phasing, I didn't have to ruin another bra, pair of jeans or boots. I wasn't really in the position to go shopping for new clothes, being a hunter isn't the best paid job in the world now is it?

My limbs worked in perfect unison. Pushing and stretching together to a steady rhythm. Trees and shrubs blurred past me in streaks of greens and browns, bursting into visions of blues, reds and yellows of the flowers that were sprinkled along the dirt track I had found myself on. Familiar smells hit me. The leather from Bobby's study, the rust from the salvage yard and the motor oil mixed with gas from the hundreds of cars that were piled up there.

I always did like the smell of gas, more so after spending some time with Bobby up here. I finally managed to talk him round into signing me out of the hospital, only after agreeing to spend the rest of my recovery period at his place where he could look out for me. At first, I thought about staying in the hospital, not being able to stand the old hunters constant fussing. That's when he told me his story, the reason why he became a hunter in the first place - we all have them, and there never is, a happy ending.

Bobby's was different than I expected. I thought it would be more like my fathers, a deer hunting trip gone bad, but it was much worse. My dad only lost a couple of his friends to the Wendigo that stalked their camp but Bobby, he lost his wife. To this day, I'm still not sure how in the end he got away, but it mustn't have been easy. Demonic possession is no walk in the park, even now after years of experience, so imagine how it was when Bobby didn't know anything at all. During however many days the ordeal lasted, the then soon to be hunter ended up fighting for his life and ending hers. After that, I understood Bobby's protectiveness, so I agreed.

We drove to the salvage yard, a place he had obviously neglected after trading in his greased up wrenches for reading hundreds of books about monsters. I marveled at the towers of metal, cars that had stacked up over the decades, noting the 3 trucks closer to the house with an open tool box between two of them. He parked the car up near the front porch, I got out and grabbed my bag. I made a point of carrying it for myself, even though it hurt like hell, I wanted to show him that I wouldn't let the pain effect me. We walked into the house and that was where I stayed for a little over a month. I would be forever grateful to Bobby for that, for giving me a make shift home for a little while longer before everything really did go wrong.

The closer to the house I got, the more I could smell. More importantly, I could smell the people inside. Everyone had a distinct scent; Bobby was woodsy, mixed with dust and motor oil. Dean's was very strong, leather and steel but the undertones were sweet, like honey. I was tuned into his perfectly, if I tried hard enough, I could probably find him anywhere in the world. There was one more, one I faintly recognised but still felt new. Iron was the base with a little vanilla, yet it was tainted in a way, like it was dirty. I had no idea who this mystery scent belonged to - It wasn't Castiel, he smelt like a fun fair; very, very sweet, like cotton candy. Anger started to scream through my body, causing it to shake slightly. I couldn't phase, not now, not when I was so close. Dean mustn't see me in that state. I tried to calm myself, concentrated on keeping pace; it helped, so I pushed myself harder when the house came into view.


	13. Revelation

First of all, I would like to apologise for how long it has taken me to get this part out. I lost my mojo, it seemed, but it is back – shame it was after I had written this chapter, which leads me onto the second of all…I want to apologise for how crappy this is. It isn't what I wanted to go with but it's what came out and, though I've tried, I cannot write it any other way.

But, after this, I am going to be jumping ahead somewhat. In the time it has taken me to get this up, I had planned to be on time with the show – so I'm jumping. But, things will hopefully make sense. A friend of mine is reading this who doesn't watch the show so I kinda have to cover everything anyway to keep him up to speed. There will be a recap; I guess is what I'm saying.

So please, enjoy this chapter, but don't judge me on it.

**I own Lexi. Nothing else.**

13. Revelation.

"DEAN?!" I yelled as I flung open the front door, barging into the house. My eyes searched frantically around as I moved further in. The house was quiet, too quiet for things to be safe. I kicked at a couple of shot gun shells that decorated the floor, traces of rock salt falling from the inside.

"What's going on Bobby?" I turned with Sam's voice, I looked to them and back again, more interested in following the shells on the wooden floor. Walking along side the rest of them, I moved through the living room and into the study. Out of sight, I sniffed at the air. The scent of fresh gunpowder lingered in the dusty atmosphere, wrapping Dean's musky sweetness with burnt undertones. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and followed my nose.

"I don't know…those kids…they…I…" Bobby wasn't making sense. Out in the junk yard, I only saw one girl but 'those kids', implied that there was more and they obviously meant something to the old man. When I opened my eyes, I could see my nose was guiding me out of the study and towards the stair case. I turned back to the fireplace and grabbed one of the iron pokers that hung on the hooks over the dead coals.

At the top of the stairs, I could smell Dean more clearly. Still following his scent, I rounded the corner and what I saw broke me into a sprint down the hall. He was on the floor, legs stretched out in front, with some chick stood over him. His eyes were closing, probably something to do with the hand around his neck. As I ran I lifted the poker in my hand and swung hard. The girl turned in time for me to see her angry face before disappearing in a cloud of smoke and embers. His green eyes opened again and greeted me with the same appreciation as they did in Hell. After whatever was going on is over, I'm putting him straight back to bed. Getting taken down by a damn ghost, obviously he wasn't 100% back in the game yet.

"Thanks." he huffed as I pulled him to his feet.

"Was that_ Meg?_" his eyes fell to the floor quickly before looking back to me.

"Yeah…before um…before, everything."

Bobby's voice sounded through the house, Dean and I instinctively followed it.

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Bobby led us down the dark stairs to his basement, and right at the back was what looked like a vault door. The old man pulled on the spinner lock, it twisted with a protesting screech and finally opened to reveal a whole new room; one I'd never seen before in all my times of being here. He motioned for us to go inside.

I looked up, the smell of iron drowning me; as dark as the room should have been, light drenched the place from the fan grate above that had a…pentagram on it…? Iron, pentagram; I spun slowly round, studying the different symbols on the walls. Sam caught my eyes and directed me to look down; a huge Devils Trap was painted on the floor.

"You built a panic room Bobby?" Sam asked quietly.

"I had a weekend off. Got bored." he stated bluntly with a shrug of his shoulders, bringing a smirk to my lips.

"You're awesome!" Dean proclaimed from his place amongst an array of weapons.

"So what do we do?" I turned to join the conversation, "Just wait here and hope they give up?" I let my body fall against the wall and slump down. I hung my hands on top of my knees casually as I spoke. "Cause that's no use. Have you ever known a spirit to just give up? Plus, we don't even know how many are out there." I flicked my wrist towards the door.

"Lex is right. If we sit here, they'll just wait right outside the door for us, and I don't see a john anywhere in this joint." Dean held his arms out and allowed them to flop back down to his sides. "What are they doing here anyway?"

"Because we didn't save them?" Bobby's husky voice made his question sound more like a statement.

"We can't save everybody." I answered from my place. "But, I don't think that's the reason. While I was…out, Cas showed up. He told me something was going on and that I needed to get to the house, then he said "before it breaks.", whatever that means. Before he could say anything else, he was called."

"Called?" Dean raised a brow as he moved closer to my side.

"Yeah, by…Heaven, I guess." my gaze fell as I heard him snort. Obviously he still wasn't buying into the idea of angels existing. That hurt me a little, the fact that he didn't believe me fully.

"Before it breaks…" the old hunter mumbled to himself as he rummaged through some dusty books that were scattered across a table. The sound of a chair creaking rang through the iron room; he started flicking through the pages of a worn and tattered book when he settled down. The boys and I shared a look just before Bobby spoke again, "Alright, so they're not spirits, they're Witnesses."

"Witnesses to what?" Sam aired our joint question.

"Witnesses to the un-natural. They've seen things they shouldn't have seen."

"Where the hell are you getting this from?" Dean threw another question the old man's way.

"Well, it's a rare 1st edition. Not the crappy, dulled down tourist version that's more common nowadays…" the three of us hadn't taken our eyes off of him, he let out a sigh as he adjusted his trucker cap, "It's from the Book of Revelation."

I felt like I had been hit by a 14-wheeler, and the wolf inside shifted and let out a heartbreaking howl, so loud that I thought the others might hear her.

Revelation. Apocalypse. Shit.


End file.
